Obstinate Blindness
by sweetdale
Summary: Boyd angsts over his seemingly one-sided crush on Ike. Will he eventually tell the swordsman how he feels, even as danger grows and they're tasked with escorting the Crimean princess to safety and aid, with their lives at stake? Begins around in-game chapter 3-ish in PoR, and eventually continues throughout until in-game chapter 12-ish, Ike/Boyd.
1. Ch 1

_Obstinate Blindness_

**A/N:**_ I'm thinking Ike and Boyd are around at least 18... Probably 19. At the most, they're 21. This is set in early PoR, and is independent and decidedly separate from my other, less serious story __**Best Buds**__._

* * *

Ike groaned. It was just the two of them at the mercenary base. His father and Titania had left on an important mission, and Oscar and Rhys had decided to take Mist and Rolf out to the nearby lake for a swimming day. Shinon and Gatrie had went out to, in Gatrie's words, "Tap the shit out of shit." Snorting, Soren had muttered that he would be in town at the library, and that he shouldn't be bothered under _any_ circumstances. Ike had found the heat too overbearing to do anything but stay indoors. He'd also thought it'd be a nice and welcome change for Boyd, who as of late had been overworking himself with constant training. Ike barely had any time to hang out with the other teen these days.

They had been doing nothing for at least the past hour; Boyd had been walking around, filling the silent stone fort with sound by singing songs loudly, and doing cheap imitations of the rest of the mercenaries. Currently, he was imitating Titania, with a make-shift red wig fashioned sloppily from his standard red shirt.

"_Boyd! Do your training, you're so lazy!"_ Abruptly, he straightened up and saluted._ "Oh, yes commander, right away, sir boss chief!"_ Then, frowning and tossing the shirt over his shoulder, he began, "_I disagree Soren, blah blah_ _blah_!," before looking to the side and seemingly getting excited._ "Oh my gosh, like, let's go shopping Mist!" _All throughout his over-the-top caricature, he had mimed her in a high-pitched, nagging voice. Finally, he settled down onto his bed on his broad back, and shook off the red garment before balling it up and throwing it at Ike's face. "Ugh, my voice is gonna be sore... But anyways, haha, did you get it? 'Cause she's PMSing right now, or something," Boyd stated ignorantly in his usual baritone. Ike laughed hollowly as he set the shirt aside. He would have found it more funny normally, but it had gotten tiring after the first few imitations of the rest of the mercenaries.

Ike sighed as if he were a weary old man who had seen too much in his days; now Boyd was imitating Rolf by jumping around everywhere, hyper as a rabbit. He began screeching bits of nonsense in a whiny, childish voice. Feeling his head throb at the high-pitched noise, he threw the red shirt, missing, back at Boyd, and told him to shut up. They were in their shared room, in their underwear. It was a hot day that afternoon; maybe that was why Oscar had thought it would be nice to take the kids for a swim.

Boyd snorted, but stopped his rendition of Rolf. He then flung himself on his bed, moaning, "I'm sooo bored! There is absolutely nothing to dooo..." After a pause, he added, "I'd do your sister — Uh, I mean, copy her, if my pecs weren't bigger than her breasts. How funny is that? Maybe I'm just too sexy." He wiggled his eyebrows towards Ike, his face slightly red after his slip-up.

Ike felt like face-palming, but his eyes drifted to Boyd's body. He had never noticed how built the teen was before. His large biceps connected to his broad shoulders, which elegantly attached to his built pecs. At the center of both his pecs were a hard, brown nipple each. Below, his abs flexed as he began to flail around nonsensically. Ike gulped, feeling himself get aroused. Unfortunately, that day he was wearing boxers; his arousal was easily noticeable as it stuck out like... well, a throbbing erection.

Boyd stopped his flailing as he noticed Ike's intense stare, and looked at the swordsman inquisitively. "Hey, why're you..." Boyd slid his eyes down Ike's built body, noticing the defined abs and large pecs, the brown nipples that stuck out... The wisps of blue curls that formed a treasure trail... before his eyes snapped upwards, and he leaped off the bed, his movements jerky. "Uh, hey, maybe — L-Let's go practice!"

Quickly, he searched the room for his red shirt while trying to keep his back towards his blue-haired, _sexy and hung_ — _Don't go there, Boyd! So what if he's hotter than practically anyone you've ever seen! He probably doesn't even go that way... _Sighing with relief and self-pity, he located his shirt beside his bed alongside some shorts and socks. Throwing them on hurriedly, he practically ran out the door, his cock still itching for release.

Inside their shared room, somewhat bemused at his best friend's behaviour, Ike dragged himself out of bed and half-rolled onto the floor. As he changed into more suitable clothes, he successfully willed himself to soften down there. As he finished tying his shoes and stepped out the room, he thought, _Oh well, it's not like I have anything better to do..._

* * *

Boyd's heart hammered as he tried to calm himself. He busied himself by finding their wooden sparring weapons, before sliding onto the ground against a tree, closing his eyes. He felt nauseous and dirty as his mind supplied him with familiar fantasies of his best friend and himself. He felt ashamed of himself for feeling that way about Ike, for wanting Ike to be inside him, for wanting to be inside Ike. Rubbing his hands over his eyes roughly, he sighed and forced those thoughts aside. Wistfully, he remembered that special night...

* * *

It had been less than 2 fortnights ago. Titania had decided to celebrate Ike's official three month membership of the mercenaries, so they all had gone to town and ate and drank at a popular bar. Even Shinon had grudgingly admitted that Ike was learning the job quickly with a halfhearted 'Could be better...' After eating dinner and dessert, the adults had started to drink. Ike had been allowed one glass by his dad before everyone except himself Titania, Oscar, Gatrie and Shinon had been dismissed. Ike hadn't really drunk alcohol before except for small sips when he was younger but Boyd remembered Ike telling him that night that he wanted more than just a glass.

Boyd remembered one time when he had gotten really drunk. He hadn't really enjoyed it to be honest, and the day afterwards had been hell as he avoided answering Oscar's suspicious scolding. Luckily he'd had Ike to help take care of him, and cover his tracks so that he wouldn't get caught.

He felt like telling Ike that it really wasn't as great as Gatrie and Shinon made it seem. But, looking into his best friend's somewhat-drunk eyes, he didn't have the heart to refuse him. So Boyd decided to repay the favour.

After some persistent and shameless pleading from Boyd, along with the axeman's enthusiastic and seemingly sincere promise that "We won't be drinking at all!", Rhys has reluctantly allowed them to stay in the town for a while longer while he headed home with Mist and Rolf. As the two friends split off from what Ike had dubbed with a slur, "The Holy Healing Nanny and his faithful posse", Boyd allowed himself the privilege of leading Ike by the hand after he had staggered into a wall. Boyd led them to the other side of town and into a bar which he remembered being praised heavily by Shinon and Gatrie. As they sat in a secluded corner, Boyd remembered feeling intimidated by the abundance of cleavage and bared legs, and handsome and built men. It wouldn't matter which way Ike swung in a bar like this; he'd have his opportunities either way.

He left his friend sitting there, looking eager to get super drunk, as he made his way to the bar, only glancing towards Ike every few seconds. Finally, he reached the bar, where a lady that most men would describe as sexy was flirting heavily with the bartender. Her blonde hair dangled onto her shoulders with a curl and swayed gracefully as she moved to lean closer to the bartender. After a minute of waiting awkwardly, he coughed embarrassedly. "Uh, excuse me, sir..."

Both heads turned towards him, one pair of eyes appraising, and the other somewhat annoyed. "C-Can't you see I'm busy?!"

The blonde laughed softly, her confident and mellow alto soothing the bartender. "It's all right... I'll be back, babe. You two take your time, sweetie." She swung her long legs off the barstool gracefully and disappeared into the crowd, but not before sending a sultry wink at them both, her indigo eyes amused. Feeling apprehensive at the man's eyes boring into his skull, he ordered two drinks, though he wasn't planning on really drinking. Adding a few extra gold coins as a way to stay on the man's good side, he left with the two drinks in hand towards his shared table with Ike, only to find Ike being hit on heavily by the blonde woman from before. Feeling indignant and maybe a bit jealous, he stormed towards the table, spilling some of the beer. Setting the glasses down with a loud thud, he faced the woman angrily. "H-Hey, you! Blondie!"

She ignored him, her fingers caressing Ike's biceps as she cooed compliments and seductive promises into his ear. Ike only seemed to grin, his eyes both widening and darkening at her honeyed words. Annoyed, Boyd went over to the woman and promptly lifted her away from Ike. Her incensed protests fell to stubborn ears as he set her down and made his way back to Ike, whose annoyance was clear in his eyes. "What the hell, Boyd? I was gonna score!"

Boyd felt his heart deflate at that. He mumbled, "Sorry... Just trying to look out for you. She was just going to use you..."

Ike just snorted, and downed half his drink in one go. Setting his glass down with a satisfied sound, he faced Boyd, and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess you're right... But still, sometimes a guy doesn't mind being used, y'know? 'S long as it's for... mutual benefit." Ike let out a little laugh.

Boyd felt his temper flare at that. His anger prickled, but he forced it aside with a small, false smile. He allowed himself to take one lengthy sip from his cup, and no more after that, and tried to shake the burning disappointment that he felt travelling down his throat.

* * *

As the night went on, and Boyd continued to pretend he had been drinking as well, Ike proceeded to get unruly and unreasonable. After the fifth glass, Boyd felt himself needing to get themselves home safely. Ignoring the drunk protests from the blue-haired teen, he took him by the forearm and began to lead them both home to their mercenary fort.

After a few uncomfortable, strenuous minutes for Boyd as he supported an inebriated Ike, filled with his friend's hiccups, unsettling pants and warm breath in his ear, they managed to reach the outskirts of the fort. With a sigh, he readjusted Ike's arms on his shoulders, and said softly, "We're gonna have to be quiet now, Ike. We can't risk waking anyone up." After a nod that may have just been drunken movement, Boyd led them both to the side door of the fort. Opening it slowly, he winced as the door creaked. They made their way to their shared room, but as Boyd opened the door, inwardly feeling safe for the night from accusations for the two of them, he sensed movement from the side of his eye. Ike didn't seem to notice as he sleepily walked into the room and began to disrobe. Hastily, Boyd closed the door and turned to face his brother.

"What were you two doing?" Oscar's soft voice asked, a subtle tinge of disapproval evident.

Boyd sighed, "I just wanted him to have fun, that's all... I barely even drank."

Oscar frowned slightly. "You promised Rhys that you guys wouldn't be drinking. What's your excuse for that?"

Boyd felt himself gain a bit of confidence. With a sheepish expression, he explained, "Well, uh... That was a lame promise. _Technically _if we can't drink, then we'd die from dehydration, and you know we can't just let ourselves die..."

Oscar rolled his eyes with a small smile. "You're lucky that it's only me and Rhys here. I'll... keep it a secret... but only because you didn't drink too. Good night." With a curious twinkle in his eyes, Oscar then yawned and made his way back to his bedroom on the other side of the fort.

Feeling relieved, Boyd went into his room and kicked off his shoes and socks before beginning to change for the night. As he lifted his eyes, he wasn't prepared for the sight of Ike naked on his bed, with one hand cradling his balls, and the other stroking his half-hard cock. Embarrassed but turned on, he turned to give his friend some... privacy... but was stopped by Ike's deep voice mixed with aroused frustration. "I'm _so fucking _horny but... I can't even get hard."

Gulping, Boyd turned around and debated acting on his instincts. _It would just be this once... Ike wouldn't remember anything. I'd never have an opportunity like this again. _Determined, he sat on his bed beside the drunk Ike and let out, "Well... I-It's kind of my fault for getting rid of the blonde, so... I..." He reached out a hand and placed it on his best friend's cock, which began to fully harden instantly. Ike's eyes darkened, before he leaned over and tried to remove the other teen's shirt. Hearing his heart beating like a drum, and feeling hopeful and confused, he lifted his arms and allowed Ike to remove his shirt. Ike then began to fumble with Boyd's pants. Trying to quell the excitement that this would lead to something more, he lifted his hips and tore out of his pants and briefs. As he kicked them off, Ike pushed him over and began to grind his arousal against him.

Boyd let out a little breathy sound of pleasure as he wrapped his hand around both of their erections. He thrashed his hips wantonly, craving more friction between them. Ike groaned, and Boyd decided then that he wanted to hear more of that delicious voice painted with pleasure. He slid off the bed onto his knees and leaned in closer to Ike. Up close, he could see his friend's cock framed with dark blue curls and leaking pre-cum from the slit on the head. Boyd felt uncertain and inexperienced, but determined to make Ike cum. He decided to just go for it, and opened his mouth to take Ike inside him. Ike let out a hiss of pain, causing Boyd to blush and feel ashamed at his inadequacy. He let Ike's length out of him with an accidental slurping sound, before he dove his mouth forwards again to take in the swordsman's erection, being careful this time with keeping his jaw open, and trying to prevent his teeth from hurting Ike. He experimented licking the underside of Ike's cock, prompting a sound from Ike.

Worried he'd somehow managed to mess up again, Boyd glanced up quickly to see the most erotic thing he'd ever seen.

Ike's head was thrown back, his mouth open as he let out short breaths of bliss. His arms flexed with muscles as he placed his hands onto Boyd's head, his fingers wrapping into his darkly verdant hair. The blue-haired teen's abs and legs tensed repeatedly, his broad chest rising and falling as he breathed in shallowly.

Feeling himself throb at the sight, Boyd increased his rhythm and began to jerk himself off. The scent emanating from Ike's length began to make himself feel light-headed and filled with lust. The axeman lapped greedily at the small pools of pre-cum that continued to gather at Ike's cock. He let out a moan, revelling in the sense that he was where he belonged, doing what he had been born to do, and it felt _good_. In response, Ike let out a little gasp at the sensation of the vibrations his manhood felt.

Looking up at his best friend and long time crush's expression of ecstasy, Boyd forced himself to take in more of Ike's erection until he was almost at the base. The smell of musk and sex and _Ike_ invaded his nostrils as Boyd felt his friend shallowly thrust his hips. Feeling dizzy but unsatisfied still, he increased his own hand's speed against his own erection until it was harsh and rough but no less pleasurable.

He could feel himself getting close... He felt like anything could send him over the edge at this point. With his senses in overdrive, he heard a rusty, lust-filled whisper of a groan. "Boyd..."

That was enough for his cock to explode. Jets of messy cum flew onto his thighs and hand, and all over his abs. His subsequent moans and fevered sucking quickly brought Ike to the point of no return. Ike began slamming his cock without abandon into Boyd's eager mouth and deluging his mouth with a torrent of salty yet sweet cum. Hungrily, Boyd tried to swallow it all, but between Ike's arousal deep in his mouth, and the amount of semen he'd cum, it was too much for Boyd. He gagged, and swallowed some of his friend's seed, detracting his mouth from Ike and falling onto his rear. Feeling his eyes stinging slightly, Boyd tried to get his bearings. He could feel his Ike's cum all over his tongue, staining his lips, and dripping down his neck and chest to join with his own seed.

His eyes wandered off to Ike's still-hard cock, wet with saliva and some cum. Feeling oddly sentimental, he brought himself back onto his knees and licked Ike's slowly-wilting erection clean. When he finished, he swept his fingers across his own neck and chest and licked them clean. _I'll never get to do anything like this again..._He could feel Ike's eyes on him the entire time, but he was too upset, so he opted to ignore Ike instead. He could feel his eyes getting moist.

_Ugh, this sucks. I can't deal with this right now..._ Turning his head away, he tried to control his wavering voice. "G-Go to your b-bed, Ike. Yo-You're _f-fucking_ dr-drunk." All he could hear in the room was his own shaky breath, and Ike's soft, relaxed even breath. _Maybe he'll get the idea..._

Boyd never swore, for the most part. Having been raised with a saint of a brother, along with a baby brother who'd needed no bad role models, it'd been ingrained into him by Oscar. Except for when he was really upset... Boyd heard the bed creak, signalling that Ike had moved off of his bed. With a pathetic attempt to hide his sniffle that failed, he buried his face under his pillow and blankets.

_It's a good thing that Ike won't remember today. Otherwise he'd think I'm a freakin' emotional roulette wreck._ He didn't care that he could feel his cock covered with drying cum, along with the unsettling feel of it sliding down his thighs and abs. All he cared about was the fact that he'd never get a guy like Ike. Nobody could compare. All the feelings he'd hid and ignored had emerged after their intimacy as if the action had destroyed a floodgate. All he could hear in the room was his own stifled gasps and sniffles. As he felt his eyes overflowing slightly with tears, he stubbornly wiped them away. All he could think of was _why? Why'd I have to fall for a guy that I can't be_ _with_?

* * *

The morning afterwards, Ike had been so obviously hung over, only groaning as a response to everyone. Commander Greil hadn't said anything, but Boyd was sure that he'd been suspicious. True to his word, Oscar hadn't said anything, and Rhys had been quiet as well. Everything would be back to normal as long as Boyd could control himself, which led the teen to a sudden realization. _I can't fawn over him and obsess about him._

With that resolve in mind, Boyd had put in extra time into training, leaving him beat and tired by nightfall. Whenever he had free time as insisted by Titania, which wasn't much, he'd purposely go for walks or go into town so that he could avoid being alone with the swordsman. It had seemed to work, up until today.

Boyd let out a sigh. Now that he was more put-together, and that he'd had enough time to process things, he could fully see why it wouldn't work between the two of them. Ike was straight. He had slobbered all over the blonde, hadn't he? And then, of course, there was the fact that their friendship would be dangerously close to being wrecked if things somehow did work out, if Ike somehow _did_ like guys, and _did _like Boyd. Finally... The fact was that it'd be too easy to mess things up for his family. If things didn't work out, the situation at the mercenary fort would be as awkward as hell. Sure, they'd be allowed to stay, just because Commander Greil and Ike were nice like that, but... Boyd didn't think he could handle the shame or embarrassment, not to mention that it'd make things difficult for Oscar and Rolf.

His reverie was broken as he was splashed with cool water from a grinning Ike. He smirked, and retorted, "Thanks for the water, it was getting kinda hot. I owe ya. Now, can we please start sparring?" He tossed the wooden sword at his side to the blue-haired teen. Receiving a halfhearted shrug in response, Boyd leapt up with his weapon in hand. _Sorry, Ike. But this is the only way we can spend time together. _He yearned to tire out his body until his body would ache for rest.

Sighing, Ike reluctantly lifted his sword into a readied stance, and prepared himself.


	2. Ch 2

He'd woken up late that day, the day that everything had started to change. He remembered feeling annoyed at Oscar waking him up, and when he'd heard from his brother that Soren had returned, his sour mood had only grown. He'd always felt like he'd only become such a good friend of Ike's after Soren had left, when Ike had started to officially work as a mercenary. With no one else to really hang out with, they'd begun to spend more time with each other training or just relaxing in their spare time off of work.

But now, with Soren back, he could just see himself being delegated back to 'friend', instead of 'best friend'.

He shook his head. Now was not the time to think about that. He had a meeting to get to, according to Oscar, and he had to hurry and change so that he at least looked presentable. Apparently it was about something important. Shrugging his standard red shirt over his head and pulling up some pants quickly, he slid his feet into his boots and jogged over to the briefing room, curious about what they could possibly have to talk about.

Thankfully, he wasn't the last one inside. He passed by Soren and Ike, giving them both a cursory wave before he darted inside the room. Just a few moments later, after Commander Greil's prompting, the two had entered, Ike sheepish and Soren unfazed and serious as ever.

His involuntary smile at Ike's reaction warped into a thin line as Soren began to speak, with Commander Greil and Titania pitching in. He vaguely became aware of his body numbing, as if his blood weren't circulating properly. Beside him, Rolf's eyes were wide with fear and unconsciously he pulled his brother a bit closer. At the other side of Rolf, Oscar's eyes were open slightly in concentration, his face uncharacteristically grave.

His thoughts were a muddled mess. _War? Here at home, in Crimea? Was King Ashnard insane? There was no way the other countries would let this stand, right...?_ He became less sure of himself as he focused on what Soren was saying, feeling oddly detached from the situation.

_The capital's fallen. We're being invaded by Daein._ His hands tightened on Rolf's shoulder, but he didn't seem to notice. All Boyd could think of was what might go wrong, where they would live if the worst came to be, how they could make a living...

He wasn't aware he'd zoned out until Shinon's sleek hair passed right in front of him as the sniper started to mutter to himself.

"Tch, I'm surrounded by dumb pups..." His distinctive head of hair disappeared out of the door, with Gatrie following slowly, obviously in thought.

Rolf slapped him on the stomach. "Come on, everyone's left already." He left the room with Rolf slowly, in a daze. Just outside the room, Oscar was waiting for them patiently, his visage lightened from before but still somewhat dark.

"What's happening...?" Boyd let out in a near whimper.

His brother sighed. "It's war. Ike's going out to scout the capital with the others. Commander Greil's out to check on something. Me, you, Rolf, and Mist are going to stay here for the time being. Once we have a better idea of what's going on, we'll be able to see if we have to leave or not." He ran a hand through his hair, obviously stressed. "Weren't you listening?" By his tone, it seemed as if he was just asking as a mere formality, not expecting Boyd to actually answer.

It was true. He'd just gotten out of it once Soren had started to talk. War. It was a foreign thought. He'd never thought he'd have to deal with it in his life, not ever. And now... He didn't know what would happen.

He felt Oscar pull his arm along gently, with Rolf beside them. Eventually he realized that they were going to the kitchen. _I guess Oscar's going to cook up a meal... No sense in worrying over this now._ He was starting to believe more firmly that they'd receive aid. He just hoped that help arrived in time before the royal knights and the Crimean army were defeated. As he sat idly beside an eerily quiet Rolf while Oscar took out some ingredients before cutting up some vegetables, his thoughts started to wander. _Kieran..._ He hoped the man would be alright.

It'd been a not-so-subtle secret that the the knight and Oscar had a thing for each other. He hadn't seen the guy in years, but it seemed that Oscar still kept in touch with him through letters. With that in mind, he started to wonder how Oscar felt about this whole situation. The fiery man was a proud knight; it was likely he'd fight to his last breath to defend his country. Boyd shuddered involuntarily. He didn't want to think about the man, dead, lying in a pool of his own blood...

He sprang up from his seat. "L-Let me help you!" He knocked over the chair he'd been sitting on and tripped. He caught a glimpse of Oscar's surprised face, his eyes open just a tiny bit in concern, but what he noticed most was the teary look in his brother's eyes. At that moment, Mist walked in and rolled her eyes at the sight of Boyd sprawled on the floor with the chair. She gingerly sidestepped around him and took a seat easily beside Rolf. _Whatever, Mist._ He turned his attention back to his older brother.

"Why don't you take the evening off? You can babysit Rolf and Mist." His ears reddened. _Did that sound as dumb as he thought it did?_ "...Uh, I mean..."

Oscar let out a weary sound, wiping his eyes after checking to see that Mist and Rolf weren't paying attention to them. The sight tugged at his heart. The man tried to infuse a bit of humour into the situation. "I never knew onions really made you cry," he joked lightly, holding up an uncut onion. His eyes were barely affected as he smiled.

Not really knowing what else to do, he went along with it, snatching the innocent vegetable while he was at it. "Geez, Oscar. Even I know that." He started to cut the thing easily, but unevenly. It was harder than it looked, he supposed. After a few cuts, he felt himself get a bit irritated at the sight of his brother through his peripherals. He set the knife down a bit roughly. "Really, Oscar, I insist." He pushed his brother towards the brats.  
_  
_"Ugh, why is _Boyd_ cooking? I bet it'll taste like dirt," Mist grumbled, prompting Rolf to start laughing at his brother's expense. He ignored her, inwardly feeling proud that he was the better person for taking the higher road.

She continued wistfully, "I want you to make that chicken soup again, Oscar. It was so good... I wish you'd make me, like, ten bowls on my birthday, just for me."

Oscar laughed. "Alright, Mist, I will, then. Boyd's making some tomato soup today, anyways. I taught him how to make it quite a while back, and he makes it quite nicely."

_He sounds like he's better._ He felt an invisible burden lift from his body and mind, and started to concentrate more on cooking. As he started to dump some of the mushed tomatoes into the cooking pot, which boiled with water that had been previously heated by Oscar, he called out to them, "So where is everybody?" He vaguely remembered Oscar telling him about some... things and stuff... He coughed. _Okay, maybe I don't really remember what he said, but whatever._

"He's _out_. He's going to check and see how bad things are at the capital. Did you listen at all? Even Oscar repeated it for you, but I guess he wasted his breath." Rolf sounded like a bizarre blend of responsibility and petulance.

Boyd snorted. "You sound like Shinon." When his younger brother beamed at the idea, he groaned. "That's not a compliment..." He started cutting up some celery, taking out his annoyance on it. "I wish I could've said bye," he muttered in disappointment and irritation. _Why didn't Ike say bye to me? _He cut that thought off as he sliced another stick of celery. He sounded like a jilted, bitter lover. As bitter as a stick of celery. _Why does Gatrie even like these things anyways?_

"It's not like he's your boyfriend," Mist let out under her breath, rolling her eyes.

He paused, his knife hovering above yet another dumb stick of green garbage, also known as celery. He forced himself to continue... But not without getting a jab back. "Whatever, Mist. You're just jealous that my pecs are bigger than your breasts." As she let out a cry of indignation, he kept is mouth running. "Even Rolf's pecs are bigger than your breasts. I bet you'll grow up to be one of those girls that stuffs her bra!" The thought gave him more vindictive pleasure than it should have, and it showed as he smirked almost cruelly. It was his trump card. It always worked.

"Boyd, stop making fun of her." Oscar's stern voice washed over his parade like an unwelcome storm on a sunny day. He tried not to let it ruin his little glow of petty happiness.

Rolf had to ruin it, though, as he sighed as if he had been caught up in an unexpected deluge of rain as well. "I hope everyone comes back all right," he said.

Mist's voice jumped in quickly from behind him. "Of course they'll be alright, Rolf. They're just doing recon."

"Reconnaissance, right?" He stumbled a bit with the word. He felt a surge of pride when Rolf said the word. _Even though he's annoying as hell, he's related to me, so he's pretty much awesome just through familial association._

"Er... Yeah." She didn't sound so certain, upon hearing the word. _Maybe she just pretended to agree so that she doesn't sound dumb._

Rolf spoke up again, hesitantly. "Still... What if there are Daein soldiers patrolling or something? They could get ambushed maybe."

Boyd didn't want to even think about that. Bandits were one thing, but trained soldiers? That was something entirely different. He could only hope Titania, Gatrie, and Shinon had enough experience to help keep Ike, Rhys, and Soren safe. _Ugh. Listen to yourself, Boyd. You're worrying about something that probably won't happen. _"...I bet nothing'll happen. We'll have dinner, they'll come back sometime tomorrow hopefully, and then we can go from there."

He set his hands down gratefully for what he felt was a well-deserved rest after cutting so many of the evil green sticks. "Ahh..." He swung his arms around, getting his blood flowing nicely. "Well, I'm done. We can just let it cook itself for like an hour or whatever." When Oscar looked at him in mild disapproval, he shrugged. "The end result's the same basically, right? I don't have to watch it. I don't _need_ to watch it." He took the lack of response as a victory for himself.

"I'm taking a bath at the lake. I'll come back when I'm done." He headed out the kitchen and out of the fort to the nearby lake, making sure to bring some spare clothes, a towel, and some soap and shampoo.

Several minutes later, he arrived at the pristine lake. He wasn't even sure if it could be called a lake because he could see the ends of it in sight. Shrugging off that thought as he did with his clothes, he tentatively dipped his shivering, bare self into the body of water. Baths were pretty much the only time of day he could fully relax. It was especially troublesome, in a way, that he roomed with Ike as of late; he never really got time to himself, all alone.

He felt almost angry at himself when he seriously considered jerking off. Sure, he hadn't really masturbated in a few days, but... The idea of Ike and the others possibly being in danger while he pleasured himself was deplorable. Because of that, he tried to refrain from touching his length, throbbing and hard, as much as possible until it softened.

His control was weak. Originally just intending to clean himself down there, he started to fully fondle himself with his soap-stained hands, getting another stiff erection quickly and easily. He stroked his cock a few times, revelling in the pleasure and warmth spreading through his body, before he started to massage his balls. "Ahn..." He imagined it was someone else playing with his tool, someone else caressing him and trying to please him. His free hand drifted towards his hardened nipples, tweaking them harshly and pulling them, enjoying the resulting senses of sexual ardour.

Eventually bored with playing with his balls and nipples, he went back to stroking himself and brought his other hand to the bar of soap. He coated a finger in soap and brought it to his hole, rubbing along the perimeter to his entrance with quivering anticipation. He slid in his finger easily and quickly, a practiced movement, and quickly started to rub his prostate. It'd taken him a while to learn how to make fingering himself feel good, but it'd all been worth the wait. He repeated the movement with his finger, brushing it against the swollen gland tantalizingly slow, letting the sensuality cloud his mind while pleasure wracked his senses.

He tried to imagine up some hunky man jerking him off and preparing him to be fucked, but his mind couldn't supply him with a face or complete body, besides snapshots of bulging biceps and abs, large pecs, broad shoulders... Uncomfortably, the thought of Ike passed through his mind more than twice, and his strokes and touches slowed in intensity and frequency, eventually stopping to a halt.

He felt like a selfish fool, standing there and jacking off like he had no worries in the world — or rather, that he didn't care about them. His country was going to war. The capital had fallen. Ike and the others were off to see how bad the damage was. And Rolf, Mist, and Oscar were likely just waiting back at the fort, doing much of nothing as they prayed for the others' safety. It made him feel sick and twisted.

His interest in getting off quickly faded to a dull throb down there. He hurriedly scrubbed himself all over, cursing himself when he accidentally brushed against himself down there and jerked from the pleasure. It sounded silly, but... _Later,_ he told himself firmly. _When everyone's back home, and we receive aid from Begnion and Gallia..._

He dipped his head under the cool water, clearing his arousal-shrouded mind. He resurfaced and wiped the water off of his face and out of his eyes. He sighed and began to clean the finger he'd stuck inside himself. _At least my hole's clean, now, too,_ he thought with a dark laugh.

He started scrubbing his dark hair with the shampoo, working it up to a small lather. After a few moments, he laid his back onto a stone and exhaled. The nice berry smell of the shampoo drifted into his nose pleasantly, relaxing him. He allowed himself a small while of peace, just taking in his surroundings. The moon was not yet up, but the sun was rapidly setting. Pretty soon, he was sure the sky would turn to a soothing night blue. The thought reminded him of something, but he couldn't place his finger on it.

With an inward, noncommittal shrug, he dipped below the water again, mostly clearing his hair of the shampoo. He dipped back down a second and third time, until he was finally satisfied that his hair was clean and free of shampoo. He hopped out of the lake, his teeth chattering loudly in the largely quiet surroundings. Quickly, he dried his body off until it bared no trace of water droplets, and then quickly threw his clothes on, absentmindedly ruffling his hair dry with the towel.

He felt refreshed and ready for a nice walk back to the fort, a nice dinner that he had made by himself, and some nice, restful sleep. He was sure that everyone would be alright. Things had a way of turning out nicely, and he wouldn't start to doubt that now.

He started to almost jauntily walk back, the forest somehow seeming comforting and inviting even though he knew there were some pretty mean beasts that could be around. Still, though, he'd never actually seen any, so he supposed they wouldn't pounce on a human. It was likely they were drawn away from him. After a brisk but calming and enjoyable walk, he arrived back at the fort with his towel and dirty clothes in hand. It was getting quite dark now... Everything was tinged with a night blue light.

He glanced up at the sky. The moon was nowhere in sight, perhaps covered by some clouds, but the indigo sky and stars seemed as soothing as ever. Again, he wondered what it reminded him of, but he made no headway in that regard.

"You should've taken a weapon with you, just in case," Mist scolded him lightly.

He nearly jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh, it's just you," he sighed.

She tossed her hair with attitude to spare. "Whatever, Boyd. Come and eat, and then maybe you can play that board game with us!" The end of her sentence livened up significantly.

"Chess?" He started to follow her back inside the fort. She nodded as she turned a corner. Boyd sighed. "Ugh. That's such a _bored_-game. Get it?" He grinned at his clever joke. Oscar would probably be proud to hear him make jokes that were appropriate for toddlers and their grandmothers.

She actually stopped walking just to turn around and look at him funnily, like he had twelve headbands on. It made him feel like a withered plant, devoid of humour. Wordlessly, she rolled her eyes and started back to the kitchen again.

When they entered, she turned her head slightly, saying matter-of-factly, "Just so you know, that wasn't a good joke. It wasn't even a joke; it didn't _qualify_. What it was was a _really_ bad pun, and I hope you never come up with things like that again."

Oscar glanced up from the book he was reading, with a small amused smile. The sight irritated Boyd even further. Must everyone let him know that his jokes were bad?

"The soup's quite tasty. It might be a little too sweet for Rhys, though." He went back to reading his book.

Rolf sat, bored, looking at the chess board in front of him. It was obvious that he was losing quite badly. "What took you so long? I didn't think girls would take ten minutes just to go to the bathroom," he finished almost scathingly. His evident bitterness was discounted by Mist as though it were a weak swing with a training sword.

"I was waiting around for Boyd. If you wanna blame someone, blame him!" She hadn't even batted an eyelash as she deflected the blame. "C'mon, let's finish this round so we can play again!" She jumped onto her seat enthusiastically while Boyd served himself some of his soup. He was glad it had turned out alright. _Maybe Ike and the others'll like it, too_, he thought, after swallowing a mouthful and feeling his mood calm as it warmed his throat.

Inadvertently, he sighed. He hoped that they'd come back soon... But, for now, he supposed all he could do was carry on and hope for the best.

* * *

"It's time for bed, you three." Oscar's in-control-of-the-situation voice washed over them all, somehow managing to not sound patronizing at all. Mist reluctantly cleared the game board with one indiscriminate swipe, while Rolf seemed to relax with relief at the reprieve for the night.

Any other time, Boyd might've considered arguing just to rub it in Mist's face, but today he was too preoccupied with worry. After he'd finished eating quickly, he'd had nothing to distract him from the troubling thoughts that had lingered at the back of his mind almost ever since he'd woken up that day. Sleep sounded like a welcome break from his worries, at least until he woke up again. Hopefully his sleep would last unbroken through the night.

They moved as a downtrodden unit, with Oscar keeping some semblance of composure that cracked slightly whenever he yawned, until they reached their bedrooms. As they arrived, Oscar hid another yawn, then asked, "Do you two want to have a little sleepover? I can move some sheets and pillows..."

It was a lightly transparent act of kindness, and apparently Mist and Rolf seemed to think so as well, though they considered the idea a little longer than they'd probably have liked to admit. Eventually, Mist said, slightly uneasily, "It's okay. I'll be okay on my own."

Rolf piped up in a guise of carefreeness, "It's fine. I'm not an eight-year-old."

_But you were, just four years ago._ Maybe they were worrying more than they should. It made Boyd feel sad. He'd thought Rolf would never have to worry about things again, once they'd been taken in by Commander Greil. And, despite the fact that she rubbed Boyd in all the wrong places, he couldn't help but think of Mist as practically a younger sister to himself.

"Maybe... Maybe it'd be fun," he suggested lightly. It might be nicer, more comforting, if they all slept together. "We could build pillow forts and stuff." He saw Rolf's face light up at the idea, while Mist turned to face him more appraisingly, seeming to seriously reconsider. He just had to charge forward with this momentum... "Yeah, we could get everyone's pillows and build a rea—"

Their faces dimmed almost instantly, as if a circus act had been abruptly ruined by the death of a performing elephant. He berated himself for not thinking his words through more carefully, but it was too late.

"I'm going to bed." Mist slipped away to her room and shut the door abruptly.

Rolf followed suit, his worried manner more apparent, though his voice barely wavered at all. "Yeah, it's fine. G'night." It seemed like the door to his room closing was the only sound in the fort.

Just the two of them were left standing there, nearly at a loss for words. Boyd broke the silence first. "...Sorry. I thought maybe I could..." He didn't really know. He just wished the two children of their group, the two innocent ones, could be happy and protected forever, as foolish as that sounded.

Oscar patted him on the shoulder. The touch was fleeting. "It's okay, Boyd. I think you're right. Everything's going to be all right. They'll be better in the morning, I'm sure." He started to turn, off to his shared room with Rhys. More than ever, Boyd felt the lack of presences in their homely little fort.

"Er, Oscar!" His brother turned, not even seeming to be surprised at his outburst. "Er... If... If Ike comes bac—" He caught himself, maybe a bit too late. "Ike and the others, I mean. If they come back, and I'm still sleeping, and you're still awake, can you wake me up?" It sounded lame when he said it out loud, so he tried to justify it, perhaps only to himself. "I mean... I just want to see how the mission went and stuff. And anyways, I don't think Ike would wake me up. He'd probably just let me sleep..."

Oscar looked at him for a calculating moment, his face impassive and serious. After a while, he said carefully, "Ike, or Ike and the others?"

_Damn. _Just one slip of the tongue and his secret was out, twofold. It wasn't like Oscar would care that he was gay, but... He suddenly felt really tired, and wanted to just go to bed, more than anything.

Boyd sighed wearily. "I don't... I..." He own voice sounded pathetic to himself. "Can we talk about it tomorrow? Just forget I said anything." His voice grew back its familiar conviction as he let out the indifferent words.

"Just one question." It didn't seem like Oscar would let him go until he agreed.

"What?" It came out more as a snarl than he'd intended; hopefully it was just a result of being tired, but he wasn't so sure.

Oscar seemed to fidget with the question a bit, but eventually seemed to decide that asking was more important than beating around the bush. "Are you two... dating?"

"Wh-What?" He was bewildered at the odd direction their talk was going in. He couldn't see why Oscar would ask that, or why he might think that.

Oscar repeated himself, a bit more certainly, "I said, are you two dating?" His face was the perfect example of a poker face.

It took longer than it should have for Boyd to respond. He supposed he was _really_ caught off guard. "No, we're not. Geez, Oscar, does it _look_ like we're dating?" During the small, obligatory pause, Oscar remained silent, so Boyd continued exasperatedly. "Whatever, Oscar. I'm going to bed. Wake me up if they come back." He headed to his own room, ready to close the door and conversation and just fall onto his bed and sleep. Oscar's voice stopped him once more.

"I was just asking." He sounded amused.

Boyd didn't offer him the courtesy of turning around. "Good night, Oscar." He closed the door shut, hearing a laugh from the other side.

His brother's voice came in, slightly obstructed but still clear. "Good night." Oscar sounded much more calm than he had the entire day. Boyd didn't want to bother trying to find out why that was.

He flung himself onto his bed with a heavy exhale, his eyes sliding shut. After a few moments of as pure quiet as he could imagine, with only the sound of his breath in the room, he sat up reluctantly and slid off his boots. Letting them drop to the floor to fall where they may gracelessly, he settled back into his bed, burying his face into his pillow. In only a few minutes he drifted off to an empty, restful sleep, finally truly at peace for the first time that night.


End file.
